5 lessons your marriage can learn from my wife.

I love my wife. I love her in ways I can't put into words. I know that's cliche to say, especially on February 14th, but it's true everyday.


She is someone woman should aspire to be, and posses the qualities men should look for in a spouse. She's not perfect, who is, but the areas she lacks she's constantly working on, always trying to better herself for the benefit of those around her. 

I've compiled a list of 5 things men should look for in their future spouse based on the qualities my wife posses naturally, or has worked hard to become natural. 


1. Unselfishness. 

My wife is the most unselfish person I know. She cares deeply for those around her, and puts them before herself. That doesn't mean she doesn't care for herself, but for her, taking an extra step herself so that someone else doesn't have to gives her a kick or something. I see this daily in the way she treats our kids, myself, and even strangers in the store. It's a sight to see and goes a long way in a happy marriage.  


2. My weaknesses are her strengths.  

I have many weaknesses. Many indeed. I'm a dreamer, I'm a maximized, alright not bad so far, im also totally scatter brained, I'm a procrastinator, I'm not a fan of conflict but when driving I get angry at other people around me, and I'm really forgetful, I don't care deeply for people in rough spots, And I can't spell. 

My wife excels at everything I don't. She gets things done now, not never, she thinks realistically, she always has everything figured out in her head,  She is the opposit of me in every way I wish she were. This is a very good thing in marriage. It can be super annoying, but it's so nessisary. 


3. Patience.  

Min a marriage, or really any relationship where a male comes in close and frequent contact with a female, the female better have some patience. This is because men are generally slow, unemotional, simple, and often stupid creatures. Throw some kids into this mess and patience becomes a means of survival. My wife takes a lot from me and the kids, and she takes it so well I'm often in awe of her. Guys, find someone patient if you haven't already and your world will be a better place. Already stuck with someone who's not patient? Sorry, your world probably sucks more then mine. 

4. Kindness. 

This one sounds so simple it's stupid. You may actually have skipped over this one because you're like "well yeah, being nice is nice". This is the thing though, sometimes in marriage, one of the hardest things to do is just show some common basic courtesy. I don't know why exactly. Maybe because we're courtious to everyone else all the time, or because we're with our spouse so much, or because we're mad at them after that last fight.  


Regardless of the reason, it's baffling to me just how far simly being nice to your spouse can go. Treating your spouse kindly is powerful. Simple things like opening the car door for your wife, or running out to help her with the cart of groceries she just bought instead of sitting in the car on your phone, or just using kind words in her direction. My wife is so good at this. She's just nice. She cares more about others then herself and it shows. Find a wife that's nice, but more importantly, show some simple courtesy, politeness and kindness toward your wife.  


5. Happiness. 

My wife is just happy. At least she's happy most of time. I have a way of stealing her happiness from time to time, mainly due to me doing something that causes other emotions to emerge, emotions that live far away from happiness.  


The expression "happy wife happy life" is rooted in truth. It's incredible to me how much my wife's mood dictate our entire families mood. Another expression that rains truth is "if momma ain't happy"... Yeah, that one. It's so very true. 

having a wife who is happy by default makes for, in general, a very happy family. And while I'm not a huge proponent for happiness being the most important thing in the world, it is what we as humans spend most of our time working toward. We just want to be happy, we want our kids to just be happy. If that's the case for you, I suggest getting a happy wife, makes all the difference for us. 


I I love you dearly doll, never change.