We faced a number of fears this past year. Giving notice that I would be leaving a consistent paycheck. Selling everything we owned including our car without any sort of safety net. Changing our life in ways we didn't know we could handle, or more importantly that our kids could handle. My most recent fear, launching a Kickstarter campaign, which may sound insignificant, but it's honestly given me more anxiety then moving the family into a 28 foot home.
Here are 3 ways we've found to be extremely helpful when it comes to getting around fears that could hold us back from living our dreams.
1. Focus on why.
Why do you want to do whatever it is that's causing the fear? Knowing your why intimately, and discussing it whoever else might be impacted by whatever it is behind the fear is vitally important. There have been so many times that my wife and I have come back to the why behind our choice to sell everything and live a nomadic, minimalist life.
We've questioned our decision mseveral times, but we always come back to the why behind the decision. It has keept us focused, and keeps us going even when it would be easy to stop. Spend time with your why, write it down, re-write it, work to get deep into the real why. It has made a world of difference for us.
2. Solve the fear.
We often have fears that we haven't even voiced, or maybe haven't even really processed ourselves. I remember before we set out on this adventure, our daughter had a few fear, but the biggest, (seriously) was that the trailer would somehow flip over during the night. It was a legitimate fear of hers. My son was had a fear that we'd be around hungry, child-eating bears all the time. Luckily for him we're around them half as much as he'd thought.
To help eliminate these fears, I decided that on our first night in the trailer, I'd go outside, growl as loud and deep and I could and shake the trailer like mad. My wife said no, and thought instead I should spend some time showing my daughter all the support arms around the trailer that kept it from tipping, and that we should buy bear spray for my son. It wasn't as fun, but it worked!
This little tactic didn't only work on our kids, it helped with our fears. Mine was income. I solved this by booking a ridiculous amount of freelance work my first 3 months... it ended up causing a new fear, finishing all the work, but I liked that one more. While this won't work every time, often our fears can be downsized in pretty practical ways. The first step is simply voicing them, it's helped us a ton.
3. Realize it's good to have fear, and look at the worst case scenario.
Fear is natural, it's also in very real ways, the very thing that keeps us alive. Fear however is often stupid, and caused by human beings natural and terrible ability to perceive risks. Most of the time, our fears our based on this human weakness.
This Kickstarter is a great example. I've honestly been so full of anxiety. My biggest surface level fear is that it will fail. When I look deeper, I'm actually fearful that I will have invited all of our friends and family to watch me try really hard at something, then fail miserably. Everyone will point and laugh. And they'll whisper about this horrid failure behind my back for years to come.
When I shift from this "stage fright; what if I forget my lines" sort of fear, and look deeper at what failure would actually mean, my fear diminishes, a lot.
So often, looking at the worst case scenario, and stopping to differentiate actual healthy fear, from fear that stems from a poor ability to perceive risk, often makes it easy to move forward.
I write all this two days before launching a Kickstarter that has my stomach in a knot.
Even though I've spent a ton of time writing out the why behind this project... come to think of it, I haven't done this very well. Shoot. Ok, but I have tried to solve this fear by getting as much support as I can so that we have the best shot at succeeding, and I've tried to look at the worst case scenario - a little. Actually I haven't followed my own advice very well at all. I seriously didn't even realize that until I started writing this last paragraph. Huh, I should write more for myself.
I'm going to give my own advice a try now, it's worked so well in the past, hopefully it will work again. What are some of your tactics for dealing with dear? Comment below, I'd love to try them out.
Finally, if you'd like to help my fear, go fully fund our campaign.. or share with someone who will :) .
You can check out how we're doing tomorrow when we launch, then for 29 days after at: suburbanpilgrims.com
Hello. Welcome. We're the Calhoun family. Like most families we've sold everything, moved into a travel trailer, and share our experiences with others.